


Captain Narvin Gallifreyan Hero

by autisticromana (eloralouistra)



Series: Captain Narvin Gallifreyan Hero [1]
Category: Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/M, Kittens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:31:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloralouistra/pseuds/autisticromana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Romana, Leela and Narvin discover an alternative universe, where an alternative version of Narvin rescues kittens while dressed as a superhero, with his Pants of Rassilon on the outside. As you do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Narvin Gallifreyan Hero

**Author's Note:**

> During a conversation with ladyromana on cliched heroes, she mentioned the only time she'd write something like that was if it was crack, like Narvin as a muscly superhero rescuing kittens. And then we accidentally created an AU in which Narvin is a kitten rescuing muscly superhero. Be warned for a great deal of fluff, crack, and surprisingly, quite a bit of pain.
> 
> Deviates from canon in that it was written to be post series V before series V came out. Everything is the same up until the last few minutes of 5.3.
> 
> I don't think this qualifies as deserving the major character death tag, but I should warn that alternative versions of Leela and Brax died before the start of the fic.
> 
> None of this would be at all possible without Ladyromana, who came up with the original idea, helped move the fic along, did an awful lot of world building for the "Captainverse" and betad.

In the case of most alternative universes, Romana has to admit that wandering into them and leaving no one to guard the Portal was a terrible idea. It’s just that the Portals to most universes don’t suddenly open up to reveal a group of kittens gazing beseechingly up at her, and trying to clamber through. Even the Lady Romanadvoratrelundar, former Ice Maiden of the PrydonAcademyand President of Gallifrey, couldn’t be unfeeling enough to resist  _that._  After so many months on a Gallifrey were small fluffy animals tend to be killed because of their worthlessness, she feels as if she’s entitled to this. At least, this is what Romana tells herself as she steps through to another world. It’s certainly not because she’s terrified of being stuck somewhere awful without Leela and Narvin forever, after losing Brax and K-9.

She only means to stay for a few microspans, anyway. Just for a short rest from all the pressures of the world. A moment to relax and stop herself worrying that she won’t get Leela and Narvin back. And she hasn’t smiled at something as silly as a kitten trying to eat its own foot since… well, probably since the last time Narvin did something stupid.

"Romana!"

She jumps, startled, at the sound of his voice. Luckily he seems more pleased to see her than angry that she’s followed them through the Portal. She glances up at him, and her mouth falls open in astonishment.

Of course, this isn’t the first time Romana and her companions have run into versions of themselves on these alternate Gallifreys, and they’ve had to learn to be ready for all kinds of surprises. However, nothing in all of her travels has prepared her for the sight of Narvin wearing a skin-tight one-piece suit, complete with cape and bright red pants over the top and presenting her with a kitten.

"I’ve rescued another one for you," he says, smiling more than Narvin ever does. "Romana? Is something wrong?"

"You… you rescued a _kitten_  for me?” she manages.

"Of course." She just about registers him setting the kitten down, before he’s slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer to him. "What’s the matter?"

He’s frowning at her, mystified, but obviously trying to work it out. Romana realises it would probably be better for her to admit it herself, before he starts thinking she’s trying to impersonate the Romana of this Gallifrey. Which, to be fair, she would be doing if she hadn’t just been confronted with the most mindboggling image she’s ever seen.

"I’m not Romana. That is, I’m not the Romana  _you_  think I am.” He’s jumped back from her before she’s even finished speaking, and it’s only then that she realises she’s never been so _close_ to Narvin before. And now that she’s thinking about it, she supposes it was actually quite pleasant.

"No, of course not. I… forgive me for being so familiar with you, my lady. I should have realised. May I ask who you  _are_ , then? And why you look exactly like my wife?”

"Wife? Oh, I suppose that would make sense. All right, Narvin. I’ll explain who I am and what I’m doing here, if you promise to tell me why exactly you’re dressed like that, afterwards."   

*

"It looks so similar to our Gallifrey," says Narvin, glancing around.

Leela sighs. “Narvin, you say that every time. I know how much you wish it to be true, but that will not make it so.”

He looks away, scowling. “At least we’ve seen no sign that they keep slaves here. Which is an improvement on the last world.”

Leela is not surprised that Narvin has chosen not to talk about their home, he is a Time Lord and he tries more than most not to voice what he truly feels, but she will always find it exasperating. She is wondering whether to tell Narvin again that he will feel better if he talks about how much he misses Gallifrey when she hears footsteps quickly approaching. She barely has time to tell Narvin that someone is coming before a child dashes round the corner and almost runs right into them.

It makes Leela feel better about this Gallifrey at once; even at home, there were so few children around in the Citadel and they had been expected to be as solemn as their parents, with running and playing frowned upon. This girl seems cheerful and energetic, and yet there is something odd about her. Leela frowns, trying to work out why the girl feels so familiar, when she is sure she has never seen her before. She is saved the trouble when the girl gives a shriek of, “ _Daddy!_ " and grabs hold of Narvin’s leg.

Leela has lived far longer than she would ever have expected, and seen things she would not have dreamed existed, but she is not sure she’s seen anything as wonderful as the look on Narvin’s face that moment. He is staring with a mixture of horror and astonishment at the child clinging to him, eyes wide and mouth open. Her realisation of why she is so familiar hardly feels important after that.

“ _Leela_ ,” Narvin squeaks, “Get her  _off_  me!”

"But Narvin, she is so happy with you," says Leela as innocently as she is able. "And I could never upset the child of my closest friends."

She watches him frown, confused and suspicious at the compliment, and then realise exactly what she said.

"Friends?" He looks back down at the child. Her face is still buried in his leg but the mass of blonde hair is clearly enough for him to understand. Leela thinks the face Narvin is pulling now may be even more impressive than the last.

He’s managing a slightly unbelieving smile when the girl looks up at him and, with a frown, asks, “What’s wrong with your pants, Daddy?” and he still hasn’t recovered from spluttering about that when the Romana of this universe comes round the corner.

"Tirria!" she calls, catching sight of the child. "Where have you…" She stops, staring at Leela in shock. She glances at Tirria and Narvin, who’s looking rather red, and back to Leela.

"What’s going on here?" Romana asks, quietly. "Is this… Are you from the past?"

Leela has only ever seen Romana look at her in that way that once before, on the Gallifrey where they kept slaves, the Gallifrey where they were trapped and Leela left her friends and did not return for far too long. Leela thinks she will treasure forever the way Romana’s eyes lit up when they saw each other again, but it is nothing to the way this Romana looks at her now. Her face is filled with wonder and delight, yet there is fear there too.

"Romana? What is the matter?"

Romana takes a step towards her. “How can you be here?”

"We are not from this universe. Our Gallifrey was destroyed and we went searching for another to make our home." She half suspects Narvin to reproach her for telling Romana the truth so readily, but she can sense the same honesty in this Romana as in the one she knows so well. He says nothing, though, apparently too busy coping with his shock at everything that has happened.

It is not as important as Romana anyway, who is shaking slightly as Leela speaks to her. And when she has finished, Romana pulls her close and hugs her more tightly than she ever has before. “Stay here,” Romana whispers. “Please.”

"What happened to your Leela?" she asks gently, returning the hug.

Romana stiffens at the question, then lays her head on Leela’s shoulder, trying to hold back tears. “She died. Leela and Brax… It was years ago, but it still hurts. All the time.” She sniffs, and Leela realises she has hardly seen Romana this emotional. “Please stay.”

Leela holds her closer and looks at Narvin, giving Tirria a hesitant smile as she giggles at him, and she thinks of how this world really does seem so similar to home. “I hope that we will,” she tells her friend. 

*

Narvin has never imagined having children. It’s a thought so bizarre to him that he’s never even considered how he’d act as a parent. And even if he  _had_ , he’s fairly certain that he’d never even dare to dream that Romana would be the mother. What he _is_  sure about is that it would be nice of her to pay him a bit more attention now, since they’re presumably quite close, rather focusing entirely on Leela, not giving him as much as a smile. But it’s not as if he’s ever expected anything better.

The point’s rather academic anyway, he supposes. It’s hard enough trying to cope with the child clinging to his robes, without having to speak to Romana too. And when Tirria informs him that he looks nicer with his pants showing, it’s a relief that Romana isn’t looking at his face.

Tirria giggles then. “You look silly, Daddy.” He has to admit that she’s rather sweet - if one cares for that sort of thing - and it’s not entirely impossible that he likes her, but it doesn’t make this any less awkward.

"I’m not…" He tells himself that with her parentage, she’s bound to be clever enough to follow at least some of his explanation. "Tirria, I’m not really your father, I’m afraid." She frowns at that and he kneels down next to her. "I’m… a different version of your father. And I come from another Gallifrey, that’s a different version of this one." He pauses, to see if she’s taking this in and she’s still staring at him intently. "On the Gallifrey where I come from, there isn’t a Tirria, and I’m probably quite different from your father here."

Tirria bites her lip thoughtfully, considering. “So don’t you wear your pants on the outside?” she asks, finally.

Narvin sighs. “No,” he says.

She nods, and then to his surprise, reaches out and hugs him. “That’s okay. I like you anyway.”      

*

"I must admit, I do rather like this Gallifrey," says Romana.

"It is much nicer than any of the others we have been to," Leela agrees. "And it was good of your other self to offer us homes here."

"Yes. Although I’m not sure I shouldn’t be jealous about how well you to seem to be getting along." Her tone is light, letting Leela know she doesn’t mean it.

"She is so like you, Romana. And she has lost me once. I will not let her again.”

"You’re not _really_  intending to stay here, are you,” Narvin puts in from behind them before Romana gets a chance to respond.

"Why not? Leela’s right, it  _is_  nice here, and wasn’t the plan the whole time to find somewhere that could be home?” She realises as she says it that he may be upset that they’re abandoning any last hopes of getting back to their own Gallifrey, and she can’t say she’s entirely unaffected by it either, but she pushes that thought away quickly. Narvin’s probably just concerned about the behaviour of his other self. The look on his face when she arrived with Captain Narvin was priceless but she doubts he’s in any hurry to repeat it.

"Yes, but… the  _me,_  here. He… he…”

"He _is_  rather charming, isn’t he?” says Romana. “I can see why you might find that peculiar, Narvin, but I happen to like it.”

He blushes as hard as he did when she and Captain Narvin arrived. “And if you hadn’t noticed, he’s also… we, I mean,  _they_ …”

"I know, I still can’t believe it! I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything so preposterous in my life." She notices that Narvin’s suddenly gone a lot paler. He actually looks a little hurt for a milispan, before turning away with a scowl. "Come on Narvin, don’t you find it ridiculous that he rescues  _kittens_  for her? And dressed like  _that_!”

"Oh, kittens. Of course."

"Well, what else did you mean?" she asks, bemused, and he blushes again.

"Nothing," he mutters. "Doesn’t matter."

"We should definitely stay here," pronounces Leela, grinning widely. Romana wonders if there’s something she’s missed, something else Narvin might find that peculiar. But she’s just remembered another reason Leela might like it here, so she doesn’t have time to bother about Narvin right now.

"Leela," she says cautiously. "Captain Narvin did mention… there’s another Andred here."

Leela’s smile disappears. “My Andred is dead.”

"His Leela is dead, too," says Romana quietly. She can’t pretend she’s at all good at discussions like this but she knows Leela is, which must count for something. And when Leela’s always given her more support than anyone she knows in matters concerning emotions, she’ll do whatever she can to help.

"It wouldn’t be the same. I am sorry, Romana, I do not wish to talk about this now." With that, Leela increases her pace, quickly getting too far ahead for Romana to continue the conversation.

Romana sighs. “Why can’t she just give herself a chance to be happy for once?”

"Why can’t  _you_?” Narvin asks. “You spend far too much time forcing yourself to feel guilty, Romana. At least Leela smiles more than once a week.”

"I do not ‘force myself to feel guilty’, Narvin." She glares at him, realises she’s supporting his point about smiling and glares harder to admonish him for being so unfair. "And I _am_  intending to be happy here. It seems a shame not to, on such a nice Gallifrey.”

“‘Nice’ is one word for it.”

"It’s certainly not what we’re used to, but you should appreciate the chance to get used to change, Narvin. Did I mention that the Andred here is your best friend and sidekick in the kitten saving business?"

Narvin splutters. “ _Sidekick_? I - He was a criminal!”

"Not here, apparently. And remember what I said about Captain Narvin being charming? Not to mention accepting and friendly…"

"Forgive me for not living up to the standards of a man who dresses with his… like  _that._ ”

"Maybe you should. It might help you relax more." She finally does smile at him then. If Narvin’s going to entertain her by giving looks like that so regularly while they’re here, it’s the least she can do for him.

*

Narvin wishes he felt happier. It’s not the feeling of discontentment in itself that he minds; he’s certainly had enough of that throughout his life to get used to it. But finding a world where he his life seems, other than that  _outfit_ , just about perfect - a term Narvin doesn’t use lightly - it seems right that he should be happier about it. He wonders if he should be nervous instead, about how things could be between himself and Romana, now that they’ve seen such a remarkable way for their relationship to go. They have a completely logical reason to start to think about something like that, now.

Except she  _won’t_ , Narvin reminds himself angrily. She had brushed away his mumbled comment that their doubles apparently got along surprisingly well with a remark that it was nowhere near as surprising as the fact that he brought her kittens, and hadn’t seemed to consider it any further. Which, now that Narvin thinks about it, should have been entirely expected. After all, he’s fought for her during a war in every way he could, even at the cost of destroying some of Gallifrey’s most ancient landmarks. He went on to defend her to the whole High Council, to put her safety before that of all the Time Lords fighting, to risk his position in making sure she was protected. She still failed to realise it meant he saw her as a little more than the worst President in Gallifrey’s history by then. It all points to the fact that she’s entirely uninterested in any kind of relationship with him, hence he should give up any thoughts he might have on that subject. It would be a satisfying conclusion if he was in fact capable of doing that.

It would feel like some kind of joke the multiverse is playing on him, if Narvin believed in anything like that. He’s so near to a Romana who actually loves a Narvin. He can look right at everything he wants and it still won’t meananything at all. The Romana on this world has hardly glanced at him and his relationship with the Romana he knows hasn’t changed whatsoever. He supposes there’s no reason for him to feel any different from normal after all.

*

Leela has always gone to Gallifrey’s great burial ground when she wants to be alone.

Time Lords avoid the subject of death as much as they can, too busy attempting to escape it to truly appreciate living, and so the graveyard is always deserted, with a sense of peace the rest of the planet lacks. No matter how much Time Lords fear this place, Leela can let herself be at ease here and move around undisturbed by anyone.

As always, she finds herself drawn towards Andred’s grave, or to the place where it is on her Gallifrey. Here though, there is a smaller plaque, almost hidden beneath deep red grass. Her own name is written on it. She smiles, sadly, at the thought of the bond between them and finds herself hoping there is a Gallifrey somewhere where Leela and Andred lie beneath the ground together.

She is still thinking of her Andred, of how happy they were when they were still two lions, of how she loved him even after he was Torvald, of how it took her too long to be able to forgive him, when she hears footsteps approaching.

The footsteps stop suddenly, she hears the intake of breath and knows who it is and tells herself she is a warrior of the Sevateem and not afraid to turn around to look at him.

"Hello," says Andred quietly. He swallows. "I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you, I didn’t expect to find anyone here -"

"No, it is my fault. Time Lords do not visit the burial ground on my Gallifrey, I did not realise it would be different here."

"It isn’t." He almost gives a laugh. "You know Time Lords. I think Romana’s the only person who understands why I still want to come here."

She takes a hesitant step towards him, and when he moves forwards himself and closes the gap between them, she reaches out to take his hand. “How did she die?”

"She was murdered." His face twists and his words become angry. "They only did it to try to destabilise Romana’s Presidency, by trying to make her emotionally compromised. They killed Braxiatel and… they _killed her_  and there was no _reason_  for it.” He’s shaking now, and Leela wraps her arms around him, holding him close.

"I am sorry."

He nods against her shoulder. “How did he die?”

Leela thinks again of Andred’s death and everything that was wrong with it. And at last, as she holds him, she finds herself ready for all the tears she refused to cry at the time.

He pulls her closer as she weeps, and kisses the crown of her head, and she realises he’s exactly the same man as the one she knew.

*

Leela had never expected to feel like this again. The first time she had lost Andred, she had longed every day to find him and be with him once more. Then when she had found out the truth about Torvald, she had never wanted to see him again, her only hope to remember him as the Andred she had married and not the man he was now. And as soon as she had become certain that they would one day be together again, he was taken away from her once more and this time it seemed it was forever.

But now she has him back, and he is everything she remembers and everything she loves and she will never let him go again. She holds his hand as they walk back to rooms they shared once and they laugh together when he tells her about his job.

"You rescue kittens from Darkel?" Leela gasps, fighting back giggles.

"She kidnaps them."

“ _Why_?”

"She’s evil!"

They both laugh again at that, and smile at each other afterwards.

"And you and Narvin are superheroes."

"It’s much more fun than being a Guard Commander. And we have the best outfits on Gallifrey." He looks her over appreciatively. "Or we did until you turned up."

"I would like to see your superhero outfit."

He smirks at her. “I’ll have to try it on for you. It’s much nicer than Narvin’s; mine’s red and white and the pants are green.”

Andred seems a little nervous when they reach their quarters. “I’m sorry if… Is it the same here?”

The room is so familiar and she smiles as she looks around. “It is perfect,” she tells him.

He grins and seems about to speak when she hears another voice.

"Mistress?"

"K-9!" She bounds over to her dog and throws her arms around him. "K-9, you are here and you are alive again!"

"This unit has never been ‘alive’, Mistress," K-9 corrects her, but he sounds happy despite his words.

"You know what I  _mean_.”

"And I hope you’re grateful, K-9," Andred puts in. "You got a much warmer greeting than  _I_ did.”

“ _You_  will get that when you have changed into your superhero outfit. But right now I want to talk to K-9.”

He smiles as he leaves and K-9 moves closer to her and it feels so  _good_ to be so happy again.

*

Narvin supposes that his double has kept the CIA in a relatively good condition, considering the amount of time he wastes running round obtaining kittens, and wearing an outfit so scandalous it even leaves his  _neck_ showing. Not to mention all the time spent with Romana. Still, Narvin prides himself that things have been operating a lot more smoothly since he took over the day-to-day running of the place. And he completely ignores the idea that even he would spend less time working if Romana ever asked it of him.

He completely ignores the idea again, when she comes storming into his office a few microspans later, jerks his data pad out of his hands, sets it aside and glares at him.

"Is there something I can do for you?" he asks calmly.

"You would not believe what that - what  _the Lady President_  Romana has just done!” she fumes.

"Enlighten me."

"She put me in a  _bucket_!”

Narvin isn’t sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. “Why?” he ventures, after a moment of staring at her in bafflement.

"Apparently, it’s how she deals with disruptive High Councillors here. She sends them to sit in a timeout bucket to _think about what they’ve done_. I thought it was a good idea at first,” she mutters bitterly.

"Doubtless, your own Presidency would have been much stronger if you’d only thought to use tactics like that against your opponents."

She glares at him. “Well, at least I wouldn’t have had to listen to so much of your whining!”

"You really think I’d have complained _less_  if one of your Presidential policies was to put people in buckets?”

"I can’t imagine _anything_  that would stop you arguing with me, Narvin.” She stands, preparing to leave. “I’m really not sure why I came here, I can’t think of anyone else on Gallifrey _less_  likely to be sympathetic.”

"You wanted sympathy? From  _me_?”

"I agree it’s a preposterous notion, but -"

"No. I mean, why me? Why was _I_  the first person you thought of to come to?”

She stares haughtily at him. “I don’t know. Leela’s probably busy with Andred. And I couldn’t think of anyone else.”

"Oh. Well. I’m sorry."

She sighs and sits back down. “You really aren’t good at sympathy, are you?”

"I’m better at it than you are at accepting you’re no longer President. And I don’t put myself in a position where my inability to sympathise matters."

"And what’s  _that_  supposed to mean?”

"If you have such a hard time accepting that your other self is in charge here, and you are  _not_ , it may be a good idea to keep away from High Council meetings. As I presume you were put in the bucket for acting as if  _you_ were President?”

"It’s not my fault," she grumbles. " _You’re_  still treating me as if I’m your President so much that I forget sometimes.”

Narvin sighs. “Because you _are_ my President. And not anyone else’s.” He realises exactly what he’s just said and continues quickly, trying to ignore the heat rushing to his cheeks. “I mean, maybe you should consider a different career, something you’d enjoy more. Like travelling. The CIA’s been trying to organise diplomatic missions -“

"If you think I am _ever_  going to work for  _you_  -“

He can’t help giving a short laugh at that. “Never, my lady. And I wouldn’t want you to.”

"Oh?"

"I find it more useful having operatives who actually follow orders."

She gives him another scowl. “So what  _do_  you suggest I do?”

"The Lady Romana would like to establish friendly relationships with other planets, by sending a well-respected ambassador to speak with their leaders. She’s asked the CIA to organise it, but doesn’t want my agents involved because the ambassador should be someone she trusts, as well as someone open-minded and happy to encourage the positive development of alien worlds."

"All right," Romana mutters after a moment. "Since I don’t suppose there are many other suitable candidates."

"Good. I can get you the details a bit later."

"Right then. I suppose I should leave you to work now."

"That would be useful, yes," he agrees, his hearts sinking.

She only nods in reply, before leaving. And he ignores the idea that he’d have left all his work unfinished if only she’d wanted to stay longer.

*

"I still can’t get my head around the fact that he brings you kittens," says Romana, settling back in one of her favourite chairs. The Presidential Complex here is very similar to that back on the original Gallifrey, if significantly more full of cats.

"It’s a rather unusual expression of love, I agree," says her counterpart with an amused smile, "But I find it rather sweet."

“ _Narvin_ , though. I certainly can’t imagine  _my_  version ever doing something like that.”

"I couldn’t have imagined mine doing it either, but he’s clearly proven that wrong. Maybe yours will surprise you, too."

Romana snorts. “I  _don’t_ think… Why does he do it, anyway?”

"Habit, I suppose. At first, a way to make me feel better after Leela and Brax…"

"I’m sorry," says Romana quickly. "I didn’t mean to… it must have upset you."

"It’s all right. I don’t think about it too much, not any more. I have the three of you as friends now, as well as a wonderful husband - but don’t tell him I said that - and a wonderful daughter."

Tirria looks up from the corner of the sofa, where she’s been staring intently at some kind of puzzle. “I’m _very_  wonderful,” she informs them.

"Of course you are, dear," says the other Romana. "With a mother like me, you’d have to be entirely wonderful."

Tirria giggles. “I’d be wonderful anyway!” she insists.

"Yes, as you can see Romana, I really can’t be  _too_  unhappy with a daughter this wonderful,” says her mother, grinning. “I don’t suppose you’ve ever considered having children?”

"I don’t really think I’d be very good at it. And I wouldn’t want it to interfere with my work."

"And how’s your work going? Preferable to the High Council, I hope."

"Well, no one makes me sit in  _buckets_  now.”

Her double laughs a little guiltily. “I’m sorry. But you  _would_  keep talking over me. And I am President, you know.”

"I suppose," Romana mutters, but then lightens. "But I understand Coordinator Narvin’s been attending a few Council meetings recently. What does _he_  think of the buckets?”

"Oh, he thinks they’re a wonderful idea. He was delighted when I put Darkel in one and told her she couldn’t come out until she’d coloured in a picture of the Citadel."

"Yes, but being in one  _himself_?”

She frowns. “I haven’t had to put him a timeout bucket. He’s been far too sweet.”

“ _What?_   _Narvin?”_

“ _I_  think other Daddy’s sweet,” says Tirria. “But his pants are wrong. Make him change them.”

"He seems a little shy, but he’s been lovely whenever I’ve spoken to him."

Romana stares at her, trying to reconcile this with everything she believes about Narvin. It’s almost as hard as her first meeting with Captain Narvin. “Well,” she says finally, “I suppose… if he’s not sure how to react to such a different Gallifrey… he  _might_  seem shy. Maybe even nice.” Not that she’s sure she believes it, even as she says it.

"Or maybe you know him too well to stop and _think_  about how sweet he can be?”

"Perhaps," she says dubiously, telling herself that it certainly isn’t true. But then again, such an irritating challenge to one of her most basic beliefs is certainly Narvin’s sort of thing.        

*

From all her time spent with Captain Narvin, Romana’s come to the conclusion that he can be just as dim-witted as her Narvin, while far more courteous and generally pleasant, and with a  _far_  more interestingstyle of clothing. She has no idea how to react when he brings her a kitten.

"No matter what universe you’re from, you are my President and I adore you," Narvin kneels in her doorway, a small white kitten in his outstretched hands, smiling in the way that the other Narvin doesn’t smile nearly enough.

Romana stares at him in disbelief for a few moments, before reaching out to accept the kitten. She wonders briefly how her alternative self can possibly find the other Narvin nice when she spends so much time with this one.

"Thank you," she manages after a moment. "You didn’t have to do this."

"I wanted to," he says earnestly. "I thought you should have a kitten of your own and Romana agreed with me. And your own Narvin should have brought you one by now."

To her horror, Romana finds herself almost _blushing_  at that.

"I… I really can’t imagine… That is, I don’t think it would really be his style, he’s far too serious and, well…" She trails off, deciding to stare at the kitten, rather than at him. She puts it down quickly, since it’s wriggling and she has enough on her mind right now.

He smiles again, and it’s far too pleasant. “I could talk to him about it. If you wanted another kitten.”

"Thank you, but it really isn’t necessary," she tells him, wondering how she’s supposed to cope with even the idea of two Narvins bringing her kittens, without breaking down into laughter.

Just before he leaves, he takes her hand and kisses it gently. Her blush at that is far too visible, and she spends spans afterwards wondering why she can’t shake the memory of his lips brushing against her fingers.

*

When Narvin arrives to visit Romana - which, he tells himself, is because he can’t shake the habit of keeping her up-to-date on the CIA’s work, not because he spends so much time wanting to see her - he finds her stroking a white kitten and staring at the creature in a mixture of bafflement and affection

"Your other self brought me a kitten," she greets him, trying and failing to suppress a smile. She’s so much happier here than he’s ever seen her before and he wonders why he doesn’t feel better about that.

"So I see. Are you sure his wife won’t mind?"

"Oh, he’s asked her," says Romana, turning back to the kitten. "And it’s fine. She probably has far too many already, I’m sure she won’t miss one."

"That wasn’t exactly what I meant."

She ignores him, engrossed in tickling the kitten’s neck. It purrs, causing her smile to grow. “I have to admit, it _is_  rather sweet.”

"Romana!"

"What is it, Narvin? I _am_  rather busy right now, you know.”

"I’m glad you find your new pet so absorbing a conversationalist, Madam President."

"Oh, don’t be stupid. It’s just that  _you_  wouldn’t purr if I tickled you.”

He fights down the urge to tell her she’s wrong and manages to convince himself that the kitten isn’t looking smugly at him.

"I never realised how fascinated you’d be by a… an infant feline."

She rolls her eyes. “It’s not the kitten itself. It’s the fact that you rescue them for me - I mean, the you on this Gallifrey does. And wears his pants on the outside of his trousers.  _That’s_  what I can’t get my head around.”

Narvin pauses. “But you find it perfectly reasonable that we -  _they_  - are married?”

"Oh honestly, Narvin, why is  _that_  the thing you keep bringing up? I fail to see its significance, compared to the kittens.”

"But you do find it reasonable?"

"I suppose so. Why? Don’t you?"

"I - Yes. I do."

"Then what else is there to discuss? Now if you’ll excuse me Narvin, I want to think of a name for my kitten."

*

"He brought her a kitten. And now she won’t put the wretched thing down."

Leela frowns at him. “I do not see why this is a problem, Narvin. The kittens on this Gallifrey are very nice. It will make Romana happy to have one of her own.” As she’s speaking, she reaches down to where one of her own kittens is scratching the table leg, picks it up and sets it on the table next to her. Narvin wonders whether to point out that on a civilised world, pets are supposed to be kept off tabletops. Then again, so are people and that doesn’t seem to stop Leela.

“ _He_  brought her a kitten! And he’s oh-so- _perfect_  because of it and it doesn’t matter that he has his  _own_  Romana -“

"Narvin? Are you _jealous_  of yourself?”

He glares at her. “ _No_. I just fail to see what’s so special about ‘Captain Narvin’.”

Before Leela can answer him, he hears her front door opening and has to quickly jump aside as she throws herself off the table and flings her arms around the man coming in. Andred staggers backwards laughing, somehow managing to kick the door close before beginning to kiss her.

Narvin looks away, deciding it’s probably polite to give them a moment alone. After several more moments and no sign that they’re about to stop, he decides it’s probably polite for him go away and give them some privacy.

Which would be easier if they weren’t still pressed up against the door.

"Er, Leela?"

Leela pulls away from Andred, at last. “I am sorry, Narvin,” she says, without a hint of remorse.

"I can leave if you two are… busy."

"No!" She sounds so shocked that he thinks she might actually be sorry, until she turns to Andred with a smirk.

"Narvin is jealous of the other Narvin and he wants our help," she informs him before pulling him over to a chair and seating them both on it.

"I am  _not_  -“

"Lots of people are jealous of Captain Narvin, with everything he has going for him," says Andred. "Although I suppose none of them have ever been _him_  before.” He starts to kiss Leela again, even more enthusiastically than last time, and she wraps her arms around his neck.

Narvin closes his eyes. He’s reluctantly had to get used to Leela acting however she wants but he doesn’t expect it from other Time Lords. Even Andred, even an Andred on _this_  Gallifrey, should realise this isn’t a respectful way to behave. “Would you two mind - Could you _stop_  that for just a microspan?” They break apart, grinning. “What exactly does _he_  have that I could be jealous of?”

"Better fashion sense?" Andred ventures.

Narvin splutters, his cheeks turning red. “If you’re suggesting I want to dress with my… like _that_ -” He’s cut off by their laughter.

"Why not?" says Andred, once he’s recovered. "It’s very comfortable." He glances down at his own outfit. "And it looks lovely."

"It does," agrees Leela, leaning in to kiss him.

"And Captain Narvin can dance," she adds, against Andred’s mouth.

Narvin glares at the floor, glad he has an excuse not to look at them. What he wants to say is difficult enough without that. “This isn’t about… I don’t care what he looks like or how many skills he has. It’s not about  _him_.”

"Ohhh," says Andred, pulling away from Leela at last, "is this all because he brought your Romana a kitten? He told me he was planning to."

"She’s not _my_  Romana!”

"I was only meaning to differentiate them," says Andred with an innocence most probably faked. "The Romana from our world and the Romana from your world. It’s not my fault you read anything else into that."

Narvin continues to stare obstinately at the floor.

"She’s obsessed with the kittens, or with the fact that he rescues them. And she doesn’t… she never seems to think about… anything else that he has."

"Narvin?" He jumps at the sound of Leela’s voice so near to him; he didn’t hear her climb off Andred and come to stand almost in front of him. "Romana wouldbe yours, if you asked it of her." Her voice is much gentler now.

"What makes you think I want Romana?" he mutters, still not quite able to meet her eyes.

"Oh, come  _on_ ,” Andred calls from the chair. “It’s obvious. You look at her the way I look at Leela.”

Narvin’s about to fervently deny it. The idea that he’d  _ever_  look like such a doting fool appals him. But then he sees how happily Leela smiles at Andred and he thinks of Romana, and wonders whether that might stop it mattering

"Narvin, tell Romana how you feel, even if you cannot tell us," says Leela. "We already know of your feelings for her, now go act on them."

He swallows. “Leela, I can’t just… Look, she’s too busy playing with her kitten to even-“

"You could get her a kitten yourself," Andred suggests. "If you really think there’s no other way to make her interested. Come on a mission with us next week." Narvin stares at him, wondering if the offer is entirely serious. "We’ll pick you out a nice outfit to match ours."

Narvin’s cheeks flush. “Thank you, Andred, but I really don’t think I need your help.”

Leela calls after him as he begins to leave. “Tell her, Narvin.”

He looks back at her, as the door opens. “Maybe I would. But I don’t think she’d even listen.”

*

There’s never been a time in Romana’s life when she hasn’t wanted to travel. She’d had to repress the desire throughout her Presidency of course, her responsibilities leaving little time for frivolous excursions. It’s been a struggle to allow herself to relax now, to remember that travelling is in fact what she’s supposed to be doing. But today, sipping a drink with so much more flavour than anything Gallifrey has to offer, and in a dress that would cause one or two upraised eyebrows at home, she gazes down at the capital city of the Princessipality of Yevnon and finally gives in to a smile about how enjoyable this is. Perhaps she’s better suited to the life of an ambassador than of a President after all. Not that she’d say so out loud.

"Enjoying the view, Madam President?" asks Narvin, joining her at the window. He’s hardly  spoken to her since their arrival here and his objection to her wearing a dress that actually goes so far as to leave her arms uncovered. There’s something unusual about the way he’s looking at her now, probably aggravation that she’s still wearing something so apparently indecent.

"Yes, actually. I’ve always found the Princessipality rather beautiful."

"I’ve never seen the appeal. It hardly compares to Gallifrey."

"And I don’t suppose you  _will_  see the appeal unless you take your eyes off me and actually  _look_  at it for a moment, Coordinator,” she snaps.

Narvin goes red and mutters an apology, turning to stare out at the city. “It’s… nice,” he ventures after a milispan.

"You are  _completely_  useless,” she sighs, finding his doubtfulness endearing despite herself. “I don’t know why I even let you come with me.”

"Because it wasn’t your choice? Lady Romana instructed me to come with you because the Yevnon wanted two ambassadors and I’m well qualified, and she told you that you weren’t going to change her mind."

"Oh, is that what it was? I probably didn’t think you were important enough to remember," she smirks at him. "She could at least have given me a diplomat to go with."

"I  _am_  a diplomat.”

"I meant someone actually  _diplomatic_ , though.”

"I concede it would be useful if at least  _one_ member of our party was skilled in that respect.”

"You are  _terribly_ rude you know,” she tells him.

"I thought that was your point."

She blames the pleasure of being away from Gallifrey at the way she laughs at that and how good it feels to see his face light up when she does. “Perhaps,” she admits. “But I do find it very bad mannered that you haven’t asked me to dance yet.”

Narvin’s face colours again.

"I don’t dance, Romana," he mumbles.

"Oh, come on Narvin, this one’s slow; you really don’t have to do much." She takes a step towards him and holds at her hand. He looks at it dubiously before reaching out hesitantly to take it and letting her lead him to the edge of the dance floor.

"I’m not taking any responsibility if I trip over and embarrass you," he tells her as she positions them, but by frowning intently at their feet as they move, he manages to pass as a reasonable dancer.

At the pace they’re going, Romana has no problem with glancing round the room and letting her mind wander.

"Do you think the Yevnon have cats? Romana told me she was interested in importing some from other planets?" she asks.

"I have no idea," Narvin mutters at their shoes.

"And I wish she’d let me bring Nebula with me."

"Nebula?"

"My kitten, Narvin. The one your other self was kind enough to give me."

"So it’s kind of him now, rather than ridiculous?"

"I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m actually getting used to the fact that he brings Romana kittens."

Narvin’s silent for a moment, probably too busy concentrating on what his feet are doing. “So,” he says at last, “Does that mean you might start thinking about… other points of notice about them.”

"If you’d actually tell me what you  _mean_  by that, perhaps.”

"They’re married, Romana."

“ _Yes_ , Narvin. I actually realised that months ago. I just didn’t think it was worth going on about constantly, the way you seem to.” He suddenly stops dancing and it’s she who almost trips over, so unprepared for it. “Narvin!” She’s about to admonish him further, when she realises she’s drawing attention towards them and settles for glaring at him instead.

"All  _right_. I’ll stop talking about it, if that’s what you want. Just  _tell me_ , honestly, what you think about it. You don’t have to… spare my feelings. If the idea fills you with disgust, then say so. I just want to _know_ , Romana, please.”

She stares at him in bewilderment. “Narvin, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He glares at her, his face red and his eyes filled with resentment and hurt. “I’m sorry, Madam President,” he says through gritted teeth. “I would have thought it were obvious by now.” He lets go of her and storms off, away from the dance floor. Romana glowers after him, wondering what she’s done wrong, until the door has closed between them.

*

Narvin buries himself in his work to avoid thinking about her. They haven’t spoken since the night of the ball, even the journey back to Gallifrey was spent in silence, with as little eye contact as possible. So he stares furiously at status reports and tries to forget what a spectacular fool he made of himself.

It may even have worked if Captain Narvin hadn’t walked in, serving as one of the best reminders he could have of every stupid thing he’d said that night. Narvin gives his counterpart his most vicious scowl and goes back to staring at the report in his hands.

"I thought I should come by and see how you were doing, as I’ve had a lot more time on my hands since you took over."

"I’m fine, thank you," mutters Narvin, through gritted teeth. "There’s really no need for you to be here." They’re such entirely different people, he thinks, and he was so _stupid_  to dare to believe that any surface similarities would be enough for… for  _her_. He wonders why the Captain is even here, when he could be spending time with either Romana.

"You don’t seem particularly happy," Captain Narvin observes. "I presume things didn’t go well between you and Romana."

Narvin sneers. “Because that could be the only possible reason I wouldn’t be happy. Nothing to do with being sent to a world full of _aliens_ , or the deplorable state you left the Agency in when you decided your time was better spent collecting kittens.”

"Neither of which would ever make you  _that_  angry. I think we’re similar enough that I can tell what’s wrong with you, Narvin.”

"We’re not at all  _similar_!”

"Maybe not so much now. But I’ve felt the way you’re feeling and -"

"Have you  _really_?” Narvin spits. “You don’t have to look at Romana and know that you mean _nothing_  to her when you…” He breaks off and swallows hard, struggling to pull himself back together.

"Narvin," says his other self after a moment, "Do you know why Leela and Braxiatel were killed?"

"What?"

"It was to destabilise Romana’s Presidency."

"I take it this is somehow relevant?"

"By making her lose the people she cared about."

"So…?"

"She was devastated afterwards. But she refused to let them win, so she carried on with her work even with that much pain. And she told me once that she took strength from the fact that they couldn’t hurt her like that again, not when she had no one left to care about."

"Oh."

Captain Narvin gives a small smile. “So in the knowledge that simply being there for her wouldn’t make thing better, I did the only thing I could think of. I saved kittens for her and it made her happy again. And then she realised she loved me.”

"But mine, the Romana from my world, I mean -"

"Hasn’t realised yet. She has difficulty caring for people when she could so easily lose them, and she just isn’t very good at dealing with her feelings."

Narvin stares at his alternative self. “But you are? Good at dealing with feelings?”

He shrugs, a little sheepish. “I’ve spent a lot of time with Andred.”

"Of course. So what am I supposed to do now? Rescue a  _kitten_  for her myself?”

The Captain smirks. “It can’t hurt to try. It’s not as if you have anything to lose.”

Narvin glares at him. “Fine.”

"Wonderful! We’re leaving in a span, and you can borrow one of my outfits."

"I am not wearing something like  _that_ ,” Narvin splutters. “I’ll feel ridiculous enough saving a kitten and -“

"You’ll feel much less inadequate and far more relaxed, once you’re dressed up properly. And Romana will love it, believe me."

*

"He’s unbelievable, though!" Romana complains. "He got offended just because I didn’t know what he was talking about and then he didn’t speak to me for the rest of the mission!"

Leela sighs. She has always known Narvin to be incredibly annoying, yet she knows Romana can be unfair on him too. “What  _was_  he talking about?”

"I don’t  _know_ , Leela! He keeps going on about the fact that the other versions of us are married and I have no idea why!”

"Romana!" Her friend looks at her, surprised by the anger in her voice. "If you truly do not know why Narvin talks about that, you are far stupider than I have ever thought."

Romana gapes at her. “I thought you were my friend!”

"I _am_ , Romana. And I am Narvin’s friend too and I want you both to be happy, although I know how much you Time Lords have trouble doing that.”

"I would be perfectly happy if it wasn’t for Narvin," says Romana haughtily. "He managed to ruin what would otherwise have been a very pleasant mission."

“ _You_  could have paid attention to what he was saying!”

"All he said was that our alternative selves are married. Am I supposed to be getting something else out of this? President Romana and Captain Narvin are married and I don’t see why that  _matters_.”

Leela wonders how the cleverest person she knows can be so slow. She sometimes thinks Romana’s brain is too full of science and politics to leave any room for thinking of herself. She hopes there is room enough for her friend to think of Narvin. “And what about you and Narvin?”

"What  _about_  us? We’re not married, we… Oh.” Romana stares at her in astonishment. “Leela, do you think Narvin…”

Leela rolls her eyes, but gives Romana a wide smile. “ _Yes,_  Romana. And now you can stop being stupid and make yourself happy.”

*

"I entirely fail to understand why the costumes are necessary." Narvin’s fairly sure that crouching outside a building that looks like a giant teacup, waiting for his alternative self to break a lock to get them inside so that they can rescue kittens would be humiliating enough even in ordinary robes.

"They’re nice and they’re comfortable," says Andred. "Stop complaining. You’re doing this for Romana, aren’t you?"

"And why should my outfit affect  _he_ r? Other than by giving her an opportunity to laugh at me.” He has a sudden doubt; perhaps that’s what they want. He wonders whether he should go home and forget about saving kittens, when it won’t do anything.

"She will appreciate the natural curve of your leg, Narvin!" his other self cuts into his thoughts. "We  _do_  have a rather nice physique.”

"You do, you know," agrees Andred, while Narvin’s staring at the Captain in horror.

Narvin splutters, trying to compose himself. “These outfits are entirely indecent and I… Romana…”

"Can be entirely indecent herself, sometimes," smirks the Captain. "Now calm down, I’ve just got us inside," he gestures the open hatchway, "And I don’t want Darkel to hear you."

"I think he’s doing quite well so far," Andred says to Captain Narvin. "And I like the red face. It goes with the pants _very_  nicely.”

Narvin scowls as he follows them inside.

He’s pleased to see that his other self is putting his centuries of CIA training to  _some_  use as they make their way quietly through the base. He seems to know exactly where they’re going and follows a route that leaves a number of hiding places available. They’ve been through thirteen corridors before Narvin hears the sound of mewling.

The Captain dodges behind an ornate pillar and gestures them to follow. It occurs to Narvin that Darkel may not have so many kittens stolen if she didn’t insist on having so many fancy and apparently useless decorations around the place.

"The kittens will be locked up in there," says the Captain, pointing to a door at the end of the corridor. "Getting them out shouldn’t be too hard, but we may run into difficulties if any of Darkel’s minions are around."

"Janartis won’t be," Andred tells him. "I asked Annos to distract him, since we have a trainee with us."

Narvin frowns. “Annos? What?”

"I don’t know what he sees in Janartis, either," says Andred. "But it does come in useful sometimes."

"You mean… But Janartis is the enemy!"

“ _Yes_ , Narvin,” says the Captain. “And please stop looking like that; you’ll frighten the kittens. Now, assuming Darkel’s busy in her control room - and she usually is, at Five Bells - it’s only Valyes who could be in there.”

"Darkel only has two minions?"

Andred shrugs. “She’s not very nice. No one wants to work for her.”

"And you can always make sure one of those is distracted?"

"Not always," Andred protests. "She only has two so that wouldn’t be fair."

"Of course not," Narvin sighs. "So, Valyes."

There’s a pause. “I think we should be able to deal with Valyes,” says Captain Narvin. He and Andred grin at each other and run for the door.

Narvin finds that Valyes isn’t there, when he goes in a moment later. There are, however, four kittens in a barred enclosure which doesn’t actually look exceptionally uncomfortable.

Captain Narvin has already broken the lock on the cage, and is reaching inside for the kittens. “How many do you want for Romana?” he asks.

"I suppose one will do."

"And which one?"

Narvin wonders how he’s expected to be able to think of that, after everything else he’s just been through. “I… um…”

His other self sighs and passes him a cream coloured kitten. “Take this one, it’s the fluffiest. Andred? Do you want one?”

"I think we’ve got enough at the moment. And we should really persuade Killer to get on with the others first -"

"You called a _kitten_  Killer?” says Narvin.

“ _Leela_  called a kitten Killer.”

"Ah. Right."

"The name fits her mood a lot of the time. Although she does seem to get along with K-9."

"As fascinating as this conversation is," says Captain Narvin. "There will be alarms going off now that I’ve broken into the kitten enclosure, so it might be an idea to continue it once we’ve got out."

"Alarms? You could have  _told_ me!”

Andred shrugs, moving towards the door. “I was thinking the two of us could stay here to confuse Darkel. And then Narvin could sneak up and attack while she was doing her old, ‘So, we meet again, Captain Narvin,’ routine, and she wouldn’t have any idea what was going on.”

Narvin stares at him. “When I agreed to come on this… mission, I was expecting everyone to be a lot more professional than this! Although I’m a little insulted you think I’m stupid enough to believe that even _Darkel_  would behave like that.”

Andred smirks at him. “Stay around if you want to find out,” he says, and sprints off.

When Narvin leaves the base with a kitten under his arm five microspans later, and stands gasping for breath outside, he tells himself it was just the adrenaline and the shock at how peculiar the whole affair had been that made him think he heard Darkel’s voice calling, “Curses! Foiled again!” a moment before they got outside.

*

Narvin’s lost count of the number of times he’s told himself this is an absolutely terrible idea. So it’s particularly worrying that he’s unable to think of an idea that would give him a better chance. Standing outside Romana’s door, he closes his eyes and reminds himself of the way she looks playing with her kitten and how seeing that will make his humiliation almost worth it, and convinces himself that there is in fact _some_ sense in going through with it.

He knows he there’s been no point in trying as soon as she opens the door. The indifference in her face hurts him even more than her laughter would, and he realises that he can’t recall seeing her look at him like that before. Even when she’s furious with him, at least she looks at him like he  _means_ something, and that feels so much better than this.

"Is there something I can do for you?" she says vaguely, stepping aside to let him in. She seems lost in thought and it occurs to him that she may just be too preoccupied to pay him much attention now. Narvin quickly berates himself for starting to hope again.

"I brought you a kitten," he mumbles. "I thought…"

She does give a quick smile at that. “And you’re not going to present it kneeling before me and telling me how much you adore me this time?”

It’s only then that he remembers he’s still wearing Captain Narvin’s costume, which is only because he hasn’t been thinking about anything but her, it certainly isn’t  _comfortable._  She doesn’t know it’s him.

"It’s all _right_ , Captain,” she says, “I was joking, you don’t have to look so upset.”

He could just go, let her believe he’s the Captain and save himself from so much ridicule. He  _should_  just go. Telling her who he really is would be a completely nonsensical idea. “It’s  _me_ , Romana,” he says, because one more shouldn’t make much of a difference by now.

She stares at him, stunned, for ten milispans. “Yes, of course,” she says. “He has far bigger muscles than you.”

“ _Thank_  you,” Narvin mutters, his face heating up again.

"I didn’t mean it as a slight!" Romana looks at him for another moment before reaching out to accept the kitten that’s still wriggling in his hands.

"I suppose I should ask," she says, carefully putting it down next to her, "Why  _have_ you brought me a kitten, Narvin?”

"I… Romana…"

"It’s not for the same reason you keep talking about us being married is it? And I am sorry about that, I may have been a little slow but I honestly didn’t realise what you were trying to say."

"But you understand now?"

"Yes."

Narvin wonders briefly if he should be concerned about the rate his hearts are beating. Romana’s looking at him rather expectantly, as if he’s supposed to say something. Unfortunately, intelligent conversation is rather beyond him at the moment.

"Um…" he manages.

She gives an exasperated sigh. “Or perhaps I’m still not sure,” she says, taking a step towards him.

"So if you wouldn’t mind confirming it for me, Narvin." She’s suddenly grabbed hold of his collar, "Is  _this_  what you meant?” She pulls him towards her and kisses him, hard, and the sweetness of her lips against his, and the warmth of her arms wrapping around him make every stupid idea seem entirely worth it.

*

"It is about  _time_ , you two!”

Romana pulls away from Narvin at the sound of Leela’s voice. She’s standing in the doorway, grinning. “It’s hardly  _my_  fault, Leela. Someone could have said something earlier!”

"I did," Narvin points out and she ignores him. She can’t let him start thinking she actually _cares_  about him, after all.

"Andred and I have been telling Narvin to say something for months, but he has been too scared."

"Narvin!"

"I _did_  say things. You might have noticed if you hadn’t been too busy talking about Captain Narvin rescuing kittens!”

"So you decided the best way to get me to pay attention was to impersonate him."

"I am  _not_ … All this was his idea, anyway!”

"I should have known you’d never come up with anything so bold yourself."

"Don’t tell me you were actually impressed with this ridiculous scheme. If I’d known you’d already realised how _stupid_  you’d been then I -“

She’s trying not to laugh and Narvin’s almost spluttering now, so she kisses him again to shut him up and loves the way it makes him smile against her mouth.

"I will see you later, Romana, Narvin," says Leela, grinning as she heads towards the door. "Do not be so foolish again."

"I think Narvin may find that rather difficult," she murmurs against his mouth.  He tightens his hand in her hair, pulling a little as retaliation, and she can’t say she minds at all.

It’s a few microspans before they pull back to look at each other.

"Narvin?"

"Yes?"

"You didn’t really think the best way to impress me was by acting like Captain Narvin, did you?"

He blushes again. “I didn’t know what else to do. And you do seem to like him a lot.”

"I like him because he’s you, idiot!" The astonished smile he gives at that stops her from regretting telling him something so nice even for a moment. "But he’s far more absurd than I’d like you to be. So you can get rid of that outfit at once."

"Romana, I can’t  _get rid of it_! I don’t have anything else to change into!”

“ _Yes_ , Narvin. That’s rather the  _point_.”

"…Oh."

"If you don’t find it too improper."

"I couldn’t disobey my President."

"Good. And Narvin?" She gives him a quick, gentle kiss. "Thank you for the kitten."


End file.
